To Be

The philosopher Aristotle believed there are three kinds of relationships, and only one brings true happiness.

There's a relationship of pleasure quickly summed up as sex-mates not fulfilling in the long run.

Then, the relationship of utility where partners use one another for beauty, money or status, which are also not fulfilling for the long haul.

The final type is the relationship of shared virtue. You understood each other and you want to help each other grow into your best possible selves.

Aristotle deemed these partners soul mates or "soul-nurturing mates." He believed being with someone who helped you grow into your best possible self was not only what long-term happily-ever-after love was all about, but also what a long-term happily-ever-after life was all about.

For this reason, you must recognize that it's appropriate for a love relationship to have some challenge within it to help you to grow.

Like Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets said: "You make me want to be a better man."

Are you and your partner in a relationship of shared virtue where the challenges can be wonderful growth opportunities?

Keep in mind a favorite quote from Leo Buscaglia, who said: "A great deterrent to love is found in anyone who fears change, for...growing, learning, experiencing is change. Change is inevitable."

-By Karen Salmansohn